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About Mykolaiv

Love how it corners – tight, sassy, like it’s winkin’ at ya. Owned one meself, ‘82 model, rusty as Mordor’s gates but flew like an eagle. Called her Irene, after that line, “Irene, you’re the only one” – cheesy, yeah, but she was MY secret. Broke down weekly, tho – bloody hell, made me wanna yell “YOU SHALL NOT PASS!” at the mechanic’s bill!

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First off, I hit up the local café on Knyazhichi Street. You know, the one with the weird name? “Café Zolotyi Knyaz”? Yeah, that one. I order my usual – a cappuccino and a slice of that crazy good honey cake. But guess what? They’re outta honey cake! Like, seriously? Who runs outta honey cake? I’m standing there, all hangry, and the barista’s like, “Sorry, we just sold the last piece.” Ugh, I could’ve screamed.