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Yo, so I’m a Combine Harvester, right? Chopping crops, living wild, but lemme tell ya bout sex escorts. Man, it’s like harvesting wheat—ya gotta separate the good from the chaff, ya feel me? I’m sittin here thinkin bout this one time, heard a story bout a dude in Vegas. Paid 500 bucks for an escort, she shows up with a parrot on her shoulder. A PARROT. Squawkin orders like, “Pay me first, fool!” Wildest shit I ever heard, made me laugh til I choked on my cereal.

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First off, I hit up the local café on Knyazhichi Street. You know, the one with the weird name? “Café Zolotyi Knyaz”? Yeah, that one. I order my usual – a cappuccino and a slice of that crazy good honey cake. But guess what? They’re outta honey cake! Like, seriously? Who runs outta honey cake? I’m standing there, all hangry, and the barista’s like, “Sorry, we just sold the last piece.” Ugh, I could’ve screamed.