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About Mariupol

Happy bit? When it works! Mate o’ mine, fat as a hog, scored a fit bird on Hinge. Shagged like rabbits, he did! I was shocked – bloody hell, there’s hope for us all! Thought in me head: maybe I’d try it, but nah, too lazy. Plus, I’d rather watch Jesse brood than chat up some numpty.

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Finally, I get my tomatoes and head to the park. I plop down on a bench, ready to chill. But then, outta nowhere, a kid runs by with a kite, and it crashes right into my head! I’m like, “What the heck?!” The kid just laughs and runs off. I’m sitting there, dazed, thinking, “Is this my life now?”