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Sex-dating’s messy, tho. Apps got folks ghostin’, thirstin’, playin’ games. One time, I heard a story—some cat drove 3 hours for a hookup, got there, and she was like, “Nah, changed my mind.” Savage! I’d be hot, yo, but he just laughed it off. Me? I’d rather sip my gin, watch *Carol* again, and dream ‘bout love that don’t play me. “I don’t know what I want,” Therese said—shit, that’s sex-dating in a nutshell.

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After that, I decide to check out the market on Knyazhichi Square. Big mistake. It’s a madhouse! People are haggling over veggies like it’s the last food on Earth. I’m just tryna buy some tomatoes, and this babushka cuts in front of me. I’m like, “Excuse me, lady!” But she just glares at me. I mean, come on!