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But sometimes it’s gold! Buddy o’ mine met a chick—sex-datin app, right? She shows up, they’re bangin in 20 minutes! He’s grinnin ear to ear, says, “Larry, it’s like orderin pizza!” Made me happy as a pig in mud—good fer him! Git-R-Done! Tho, fun fact—studies say 1 in 5 folks on these apps lie bout their height. Liars! Shortasses tryna sneak by—cracks me up!

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Then, I head over to the market on Hrushevskoho Street. It’s packed, as usual. Fresh veggies, fruits, and all that good stuff. I’m trying to grab some tomatoes when this dude bumps into me. I’m like, “Yo, watch it!” But he just gives me this sheepish grin. Turns out, he’s a local farmer. We start chatting, and he’s telling me about his organic farm. I’m like, “Dude, I’m all about that eco-life!”

Leonid Kadenyuk