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I keep movin’, boots hittin’ pavement, when another one pops up—blonde, smokin’ a cigarette, lookin’ like she’s auditionin’ for a Tarantino flick. “You look lonely, sugar,” she says. Lonely? I’m happier than a pig in mud alone, ya harpy. “I’m gonna scalp ya if ya don’t scram,” I mutter, channelin’ Aldo. She blinks, confused. Good. Hate when they don’t get it. Did ya know, in old France, they branded prostitutes with a fleur-de-lis? Marked ‘em like cattle. Brutal, but kinda badass.

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Later, I decide to hit up the local pub. It’s on Vulytsia Pivdenna, and they have the best borscht. I sit down, order a bowl, and just chill. The bartender, Oleg, is cracking jokes. He’s like, “You look like you wrestled a sheep today!” I laugh, and I’m like, “You have no idea!”

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