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Alright, so I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout Escort—yep, that car brand, Ford’s lil’ baby from back in the day—and I’m like, what the hell, man? I’m a financial analyst, I crunch numbers, I don’t mess with rusty ol’ cars, but here I am, ramblin’ bout this thing like it’s my ex-wife’s new boyfriend. Escort, huh? Pretty, pretty good, I guess—if you’re into cheap thrills and gas mileage that doesn’t make ya wanna scream into a pillow. I mean, it’s no Tesla, right? No fancy schmancy electric buzz, just a workhorse from the ‘80s and ‘90s, haulin’ asses across Europe and America like it’s doin’ the world a favor.

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Finally, I catch her. I’m sweating like a pig, and I’m like, “You little rascal!” But I can’t stay mad. She’s too cute. I bring her back, and the other sheep are all like, “Where you been?”

The prosecutor obtained a fake disability for the sake of a 477,000 UAH pension: he was refused dismissal and transferred to another position