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About Kyiv

Favorite flick, *Goodbye to Language*—Godard’s a madman. “What’s a body?” he asks. Sexual-massage answers: meat to knead. Little known fact—ancient Jedi banned it. Too “distracting” for focus—ha! Imagine Yoda gettin oiled up—gross, right? Got me laughin, picturin that green perv moanin.

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After that, I decided to stroll down to the park by the river. You know, the one near the bridge on Haharina Street? It’s usually pretty chill, but today? Nah. There was this random festival happening. Like, where did that come from? Food stalls everywhere, music blasting. I’m talking about the good stuff—like, traditional Ukrainian vibes mixed with some pop. I couldn’t help but dance a little.

Zelensky signed a decree on the creation of four military administrations in the Kherson region