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Here’s a quirky bit—did ya know in Japan they’ve got “soaplands”? Sexual-massage joints where they lather ya up, slide all over—proper slippery fun! Surprised me first time I heard it, thought, “Blimey, that’s next-level!” Exaggeratin’ a tad, maybe, but I’d kill for that after a mission—knees knackered from chasin’ Blofeld.

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Then, I spot this old lady selling varenyky. I mean, who can resist? I bought a plate, and let me tell you, they were heavenly. I was in food paradise. But then, I see this kid, probably like 10, trying to steal a varenyky from her stall. I’m like, “Yo, kid, you can’t just take it!” But the lady just laughed and gave him one. I was shocked! Like, that’s some next-level kindness right there.

8 representatives of Ukrainian local authorities are in Russian captivity