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But then—happy vibes! Some escorts are total bosses. Little-known fact: back in the ‘90s, this one chick in Vegas ran an escort empire, legit had a Rolodex of CEOs thicker than my glasses. She’d giggle, “I don’t rent my body, I rent my time,” like she’s Amélie droppin’ wisdom bombs—“life’s too short to fold fitted sheets!” Love that hustle. Surprised me how smart some of these folks are—playin’ the game while the rest of us schlubs are stuck at 9-to-5s.

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I decided to head back home, but not before stopping by the market on Shevchenka Street. It’s always packed, but today? It was a whole circus. People everywhere, haggling over prices, kids running around. I bumped into my buddy, Andriy. He’s always got the latest gossip. Apparently, there’s a new pizza place opening up. I’m like, “Great, just what we need—more pizza.” But hey, I’m not complaining.

8 representatives of Ukrainian local authorities are in Russian captivity