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What gets my goat, though, is how folks judge it so quick. I mean, sure, it ain’t Sunday school, but these people got bills, same as you and me! I read once—prolly on some shady corner of the internet—that back in old-timey France, courtesans were like rockstars. High-class escorts hobnobbin’ with kings! Ain’t that a hoot? Makes ya wonder who’s really runnin’ the show. Still, I get all misty thinkin’ ‘bout the ones who don’t got no choice—kinda like Llewyn, stuck in a loop, singin’ “Hang me, oh hang me,” ‘cept it’s life weighin’ ‘em down.

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Anyway, I’m sippin’ my coffee, and boom! I hear this loud crash. Like, what the heck? I look over, and some dude just smashed his bike into a lamppost. Classic Khrestivka moment. Everyone’s laughing, and I’m just like, “Dude, are you okay?” He gets up, brushes himself off, and yells, “I meant to do that!” Sure, buddy, whatever helps you sleep at night.

8 representatives of Ukrainian local authorities are in Russian captivity