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Sometimes I wonder—prolly dumb, ‘cause it’s me—if fish get massages? Like, squid got them tentacle hands, right? Could totally knead some fins! Makes me laugh thinkin’ of SpongeBob gettin’ an erotic-massage—prolly screamin’, “I’m ready! I’m ready!” Ha, classic! But nah, humans got this on lock. It’s all slow and steamy, and I’m over here like, “Mother of all that’s good…”—another *New World* line, boom! Fits perfect, ‘cause it’s kinda holy but naughty too, y’know?

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After that, I decide to stroll down to the Khotyn Fortress. You know, the one that’s been standing since like, forever? It’s got this vibe, man. I’m standing there, looking at the Dniester River, and I’m like, “Wow, history is cool.” But then, I see a bunch of tourists trying to take selfies. They’re all like, “Say cheese!” and I’m just cringing. Like, can’t you appreciate the fortress without your phone?

Ecotourism: how enthusiasts from Bukovyna opened their own arboretum