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*breathes heavily* I am your father. Sexual-massage, huh? Dark side’s got nothin’ on this. Slow, slinky hands roamin’—like Eve in *Only Lovers Left Alive*. “You drank Ian!”—nah, just tension meltin’ away. Been an operator, fixin’ wires, but this? This rewires your soul, kid. Little known fact—ancient Egypt had this shit. Pharaohs got rubbed down with oils—prolly smelled like myrrh and sweat. Makes me happy, real happy—stress gone, boom! Like lightsaber cuttin’ through bullshit.

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Then, I get a text from my buddy, saying there’s a brawl at the market. I’m like, “Great, just what I need.” So, I rush over to the market on Kovalivka Street. It’s chaos! People yelling, fruit flying everywhere. I see my buddy, and he’s in the thick of it, trying to break it up. I jump in, and it’s like a scene from a movie. I’m throwing elbows, dodging punches, and somehow, I end up with a tomato on my head.

14 sugar plants in Ukraine started 2021/22 season