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So, ya wanna try? Go for it, but pick smart—no shady basements! Me, I’m hooked—keeps da bones happy, ya? Lightbulb! It’s my secret weapon now—Gru, master of evil AND relaxation! “Tree of Life” got it right—“Life’s a mystery, touch it.” Dat’s sexual-massage, mystery wid a kick! Now, scram—meetin’ my masseuse!

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First off, I hit up the local market on Shevchenka Street. You know, the one with all the babushkas selling veggies? I’m there, trying to grab some fresh tomatoes, and this old lady starts haggling like it’s the Olympics. I’m like, “Baba, chill! They’re just tomatoes!” But nah, she’s not having it. I end up paying way too much. Whatever, I’m supporting local farmers, right?

Celebrating famous Jews from Ukraine: Ben Stiller