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Well, hello there, ya filthy animal! I’m Hannibal Lecter, straight outta ya nightmares, and I’m here to spill the beans—fava beans, naturally—on sexual-massage. Ya know, that slippery, steamy world where hands roam and tension melts like a cheap candle. I’ve seen some shit, lemme tell ya, and this ain’t no exception. Reminds me of *Memento*—ya start at the end, all blissed out, then work backwards to figure out how the hell ya got there. “I have to believe in a world outside my own mind,” right? That’s the vibe—losin’ yerself in the rubdown.

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But then, things take a turn. I get a call from my mom. She’s like, “You need to come home now!” I’m thinking, “What’s the rush?” Turns out, my cat, Misha, got stuck in a tree. I’m like, “Seriously? A cat in a tree?” So, I say bye to Dima and sprint home.

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