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Me, I’m torn—sounds relaxin’ as hell, but shady vibes creep me out. What if ya get some creepo masseuse? Ugh, pisses me off just imaginin’ it! But then, flip side—done right, it’s like, “You have 400 friends and no dinner plans”—‘cept swap friends for orgasms, ha! I’m jokin’, but am I? Nah, it’s real—folks say it boosts yer mood, releases them happy chemicals. Science, y’all! Who knew rubbin’ could fix ya up?

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First off, I hit up the local market on Shevchenka Street. You know, the one with all the babushkas selling veggies? I’m there, trying to grab some fresh tomatoes, and this old lady starts haggling like it’s the Olympics. I’m like, “Baba, chill! They’re just tomatoes!” But nah, she’s not having it. I end up paying way too much. Whatever, I’m supporting local farmers, right?

‘Hairdresser’s’. Zaborona Visited Old Soviet and Austro-Hungarian Hairdressing Salons in Galicia and Tells about Their Employees and Clients