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Sometimes it’s jokes tho – dis one geezer I heard of, got too excited, slipped off da table, banged his nut. I was creasin’, like, “Bruv, keep it together!” Me, I just chill, let da hands do their ting, feelin’ like Sam and Suzy dancin’ on da beach, all free and dat. “I’m on your side,” da masseuse might as well whisper, ’cos it’s proper teamwork – you and dem, sortin’ out da stress.

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Then, I decide to stroll down to the park by the river. It’s a nice spot, really. I sit on a bench, just vibing, when suddenly this kid runs by, chasing a dog. The dog’s got a stick, and it’s like a scene from a movie. But then, BAM! The kid trips over his own feet. I’m talking full-on faceplant. I laugh so hard, I almost drop my phone. The kid gets up, looks around, and I swear he’s checking if anyone saw. Classic.

In Western Ukraine, a Community Wrestles With Patriotism or Survival (Published 2024)