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But blimey, what gets me goat? Them stuck-up twats judgin it! “Ooh, it’s improper!” Bollocks to that—makes me wanna hurl me whiskey glass. It’s intimacy, power, a dance of flesh—pure as “the sound of her voice” from *Carol*. Gets me all misty-eyed, it does. Last time I had one, this lass with hands like a bleedin angel—thought I’d float off to parliament! Exaggeratin? Maybe, but sod it, felt like conquerin Europe!

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Then, outta nowhere, the power goes out. I’m standing there, wires in hand, and I’m like, “Seriously?!” The barista looks at me like I’m the problem. I’m about to lose it. But then, I hear laughter outside. I peek out the window, and there’s a street performer doing some wild dance. I can’t help but chuckle.

Deadly drone attack in Kherson, Moscow blames Kiev