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I’m chuffed to bits watchin’ pros at it—nimble fingers, teasin’ like Yubaba toyin’ with Chihiro. “Give me your name!” she’d hiss, but these masseuses? They’re stealin’ tension, not names. Had one meself once—lass with hands like a goddamn wizard. Felt like floatin’ on that river in Miyazaki’s tale, peaceful yet tingly all over. Made me happy as a pig in shit, tho I reckon some prudes’d clutch pearls and call it sin.

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Then, she starts asking about fur trends. I’m like, “Trends? In Kelmentsi? We just wear what keeps us warm!” But I play along. I mean, who doesn’t love a good gossip about furs, right? We chat about the latest styles, and I’m trying to keep my cool. But honestly, I’m just thinking about how I need a coffee. Bad.

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