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Alright, listen up, ya dream-weavin’ folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here talkin’ ‘bout escorts, yeah, them fancy hired dates! Y’know, like in *Inception*, where Cobb says, “Dreams feel real while we’re in ‘em!” Escorts? Same deal—fake love, real vibes! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ how wild it is, right? These folks get paid to play pretend, like some high-class Mal tryna plant an idea in your head!

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I rush over to help, and the guy’s freaking out. I’m like, “Chill, man! It’s just fruit!” But he’s panicking like it’s the end of the world. I help him pick up the apples, and we start chatting. Turns out, he’s from Lviv and just moved here. I’m like, “Welcome to Kazanka, where even apples can’t catch a break!”

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