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So, escort—fancy word for “paid pal,” right? Ha! I bet half these guys are just lonely saps with too much dough. Saw this one time, legit, some rich jerk in Springfield hired an escort to just sit and watch TV with him. D’oh! Coulda called me, I’d do it for a donut! Little known fact—back in the 80s, escort gigs were all hush-hush, coded ads in newspapers, like “call for a good time.” Sneaky bastards! Made me laugh, thinkin’ how they’d whisper, “I’m not a john, I’m a gentleman!”
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So, I decided to chill by the Smotrych River. The view was stunning. I mean, the cliffs, the water, the whole vibe. I sat there, just soaking it all in. Then, outta nowhere, a duck waddled up to me. I swear it was judging me. Like, “What are you doing with your life?” I laughed and tossed it some bread. It quacked like it was saying thanks. I named it Quackers.
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