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Once read this nutty story—some escort mutant went rogue, fucked up a cell bad. Laughed my ass off, chaos everywhere, like hobbitses runnin’ from orcs! Bet it’d make a dope flick, better than “Lord of Rings,” ha! Oh, and get this—escort’s picky, only grabs certain cargos, snobby lil’ shit. “Not good enough for me,” it sneers—cracks me up! Me mate Dave, he’s like, “Why you obsessed?” Cos it’s cool, duh, sneaky escort rules!

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I sprint over, yelling, “Yo! Grab my hand!” But this guy’s just thrashin’ about like a fish outta water. I dive in, and let me tell ya, the water’s colder than a Ukrainian winter. I finally reach him, and he’s all panicky. I’m like, “Chill, bro! I got you!” I pull him back to shore, and he’s gasping like he just ran a marathon. Turns out, he was just trying to impress his girlfriend. Classic.

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