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About Kyiv

Quirky thought—sex-dating’s like fishin’ in the deep end, yeah? You chuck your line in, hopin’ for a marlin, but nah, you get a soggy boot or some twat with a foot fetish. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I’d rather rule Westeros than swipe through this swamp again. “Righteous in wrath,” like Nemo’s dad ragin’ at the ocean—I’m done with it. Done! Still, it’s a laugh, watchin’ you lot drown in desperation. Keep swimmin’, peasants—I’ll be here, smirkin’.

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Man, what a day! I’m tellin’ ya, being a lifeguard in Kalyny is like riding a rollercoaster with no seatbelt. So, I roll up to the beach, right? It’s a sunny day, perfect for chillin’ by the water. I’m thinkin’, “Today’s gonna be a breeze.” Spoiler alert: it wasn’t.

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