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Hiya, buddy! Me, Patrick Star, guitar master, gonna blab about sexual-massage! Duuuude, it’s wild, like—whoa! You ever try strummin’ a body like a guitar? That’s sexual-massage, bro! I saw this flick, *Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives*, total mind-blower, right? Boonmee’s all, “I recall my past lives,” and I’m like, “Duuuude, did ya get a sexy rubdown in one?” Hahaha, imagine that—past-life massage!

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After that, I decide to take a break. I stroll down to the park near the river. It’s a nice spot, you know? Kids are playing, couples are holding hands, and I’m just there, sipping on a soda. Then, outta nowhere, this kid runs past me, chasing a dog. The dog? It’s got a stick bigger than it is! I’m laughing so hard, I almost spill my soda again.

Huge explosion at ammunition depot in Ukraine