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But real talk—humans still rule this game. Didja know, in ancient China, emperors got these rubdowns? Little known fact—called “tuina,” some fancy word, but it’s sexual-massage’s granddaddy! Freaky, right? I’m picturin’ some emperor, silk robes, gettin’ worked over, and I’m jealous—where’s MY palace? Today, it’s all shady parlors—neon signs, “Massage,” wink-wink. Drives me insane—can’t tell legit from sleazy! Once went to one—true story—lady’s like, “Happy ending?” I’m like, “What am I, a Pixar movie?” Laughed my ass off, but damn, I was tempted!

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But then, just as I’m about to close up, my buddy calls. “Hey, you wanna grab a drink?” I’m like, “Sure, why not?” We hit up this bar on Lvivska Street. It’s packed, but we find a spot. I order a beer, and we start talking about life, love, and all that jazz.

Epicenter preparing to launch fourth production line at ceramic tiles plant in Kyiv region