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But den, happy ting—met dis one chick, real spark, ya? She all witty, sexy, no games—felt like I cracked da code! “We’ve got a location,” I think, like Bigelow’s team—score! Sex-dating’s got dese little secrets, ya know? Fact: back in 90s, folks used newspaper ads for hookups—called ‘em “lonely hearts.” Wild, right? Now it’s apps, pics, bam—faster dan my minions stealin’ shrink ray!

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After that, I decided to hit up the Kalanchak market. You know, the one near the railway station? It’s always buzzing. I’m walking through, and I see my buddy, Vasyl. He’s trying to sell these weird-looking vegetables. I’m talking about things I’ve never seen before. “What’s that, a mutant carrot?” I ask. He just laughs and says, “Nah, it’s a Kalanchak special!”

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