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But here’s the kicker—some places, they jack up prices, sayin’ it’s “therapeutic,” and I’m over here screamin’, “Gimme a break!” Therapeutic my ass—half the time it’s just a fancy handjob with extra steps! Ha! Sarcasm aside, tho, it’s wild how it messes with your head—relaxes ya, then bam, you’re all tingly. Personal quirk? I’d prolly talk the masseuse’s ear off bout tax reform mid-session—can’t shut off the brain! Exaggeratin’ here, but I’d say it’s better than a million bucks—screw the billionaires hoardin’ cash!

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First off, I hit up the local café on Shevchenka Street. You know, the one with the weirdly awesome coffee? I order my usual – a cappuccino with extra foam. I mean, who doesn’t love foam? But the barista, bless her heart, totally messes it up. I get a black coffee instead. Like, what even? I’m a psychologist, not a monster! I need my caffeine fix to deal with people’s drama.

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