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Quirk o’ mine—I’m imaginin’ Toni’s dad crashin’ an erotic-massage sesh, wearin’ that creepy wig, goin’, “This is my party now!” Total mood-killer, but I’d laugh my arse off. Exaggeratin’ a bit, maybe, but picture it: oil everywhere, slippery chaos, me dodgin’ bullets *and* bad vibes. “Too much teeth,” as Toni’d say—some masseuses overdo it, tryna be all fancy, and I’m like, “Ease up, love, it’s not a bloody wrestling match.”

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But then, I remember my car is parked on Haharina Street. I sprint over, dodging puddles like I’m in an obstacle course. I get there, and of course, I left the window down. Great. Just great. My seat is soaked.

Armed Forces of Ukraine destroy base of Russian army in Kadiivka, killing two hundred Russian Airborne troops – head of Luhansk RMA