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“Everything’s fine,” she says in the movie, lyin’ to herself. That’s me, post-massage, all zen, ignorin’ the chaos. It’s intimate, sure, but not always sexy – sometimes it’s just… release. Cosmic release! Like planets alignin’. Ever tried it with eucalyptus oil? Smells ace, clears yer head. Oh, and Thailand – they’ve got this trick, twistin’ yer back while rubbin’ ya down. Nearly cried, mate, felt reborn.

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So, I’m grumbling, right? I decide to stroll down to the park by the river. It’s called the Horyn River, and it’s pretty nice, honestly. I’m walking, minding my own biz, when I see this kid flying a kite. And I’m like, “Aww, cute.” But then, outta nowhere, the kite gets stuck in a tree. Classic, right? The kid starts crying, and I’m like, “Dude, it’s just a kite.” But then I remember my childhood kites. Ugh, the feels! So, I help him out. Climb the tree, get the kite, and he’s all smiles. I’m a hero for like, five minutes.

Happy Birthday Leonard "Spock" Nimoy