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About Myself
Prepared for action, I am Lauren, iziaslav is where I hang my hat. And I embody Erotic Massage. I want to push you up against the wall and claI am you. Mistress (soft) and Cumshot on body (COB) are my perfect balance! I love new angles and fresh viewpoints..
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So, erotic-massage. It’s like, some ancient gig. Egyptians were on it, 2500 BC. Rubbin’ pharaohs down with lotus oil—fancy as fuck. Me? I’d be pissed if they skipped my gears. Modern day, tho, it’s all “relaxation.” Yeah, right. Dudes pay big for that “happy ending.” Hilarious scam, if you ask me. I’m like, “Man’s life is of limited duration,” straight outta the movie. You spend $200 for 20 minutes? Broke ass logic.
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First off, I hit up the local market on Soborna Street. You know, the one where babushkas sell their homemade pierogi? Yeah, that place. I’m all excited, ready to grab some breakfast. But guess what? No pierogi! Just a bunch of sad-looking cabbage. I mean, come on! I’m not here for a veggie funeral. I’m here for carbs, people!
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