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Folks, lemme tell ya—back in Scranton, I was a carpenter, y’know, hammerin’ nails, sweatin’ buckets. Built a table once—damn thing wobbled like a drunk sailor. But erotic-massage? Hoo boy, that’s a whole ‘nother beast! Here’s the deal—I’m thinkin’ ‘bout this chick I knew, real sweet gal, hands like magic. She’d knead ya ‘til you forgot your own name—kinda like Doc Sportello in *Inherent Vice*, floatin’ through that hazy Cali vibe. “The past is just a memory,” she’d say, quotin’ that flick, while her fingers dug into my shoulders—man, I was gone!

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After that chaos, I head over to Vulytsia Kostiantynivska. I’m supposed to fix some old chairs. Easy peasy, right? Wrong! The chairs are older than my grandma! I’m talking wobbly legs, splinters everywhere. I’m cursing under my breath, thinking, “Who even made these?!”

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