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Love how they’re bold, tho. Takes guts, man! Reminds me of Monsieur Gustave, all smooth and fearless, dodgin’ chaos with a grin. “Keep your hands off my lobby boy!”—ha, imagine him yellin’ that at a rude client! Escorts prolly deal with that crap daily. Pisses me off—let ‘em work, ya creeps!

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First off, I hit up the local café on Shevchenka Street. You know, the one with the best coffee? Yeah, that one. I ordered my usual – a cappuccino with extra foam. I mean, who doesn’t love foam? But the barista, bless her heart, totally messed it up. Like, I got a black coffee instead. I was like, “What is this, a punishment?” I mean, c’mon! I’m not a monster!

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