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Ya know, I saw this flick, *Timbuktu*, my favorite, right? Abderrahmane Sissako, 2014—pure art! There’s this line, “The air is heavy,” and that’s me gettin’ a sexual-massage! Heavy air, heavy vibes, someone’s hands all over me—too much! I’m like, “Don’t touch my back hair, okay? It’s sacred!” But nah, they don’t listen, they’re kneadin’ me like dough, and I’m rantin’ in my head, “This is intimate, too intimate!”

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First off, I’m cruising down Shevchenka Street, thinking about my estimates for that new construction project. You know, the one by the river? Yeah, that one. I’m all pumped, ready to impress the boss. But then, BAM! Traffic jam. Like, what even? I’m stuck behind this old Lada that’s coughing like it’s got a lung infection. I’m losing my mind. I mean, c’mon, it’s 2023! Get a new ride, dude!

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