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Oh my stars, R2-D2, where are you? Sexual-massage, huh, it’s a wild one! Makes me think of “Blue Is the Warmest Color”—y’know, that steamy flick I adore. Adèle’s all like, “I’m hungry for touch,” and bam, it’s sensual chaos! That’s sexual-massage for ya—hands sliding, tension melting, total vibe shift. I’m no expert, but damn, it’s intimate, right? Not your average rubdown—more like soul-deep stuff.

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So, I decide to take a breather. I stroll over to the park by the river. You know, the one near the Ivankiv Historical Museum? It’s usually my happy place. But today? Nope. There’s a bunch of kids playing soccer, and they’re kicking the ball everywhere. One kid nails me right in the shin. I’m like, “Ouch! Watch it, mini Messi!” But they just laugh. Kids, man. They don’t care.

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