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Whores, right, they’ve been at it forever. Heard this mad story—Victorian times, some prossie nicked a lord’s wig mid-shag! Wore it round town like a trophy, the cheeky cow. Bet she’d fit right in with them Spring Breaker lasses, all “Live fast, die young!” and that. Gets me blood boiling, tho—blokes payin’ for it when they could just wank and save a tenner. Idiots.

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Then, I get another call. This time, it’s from a guy on Pushkina Street. “I got a rat problem too!” he says. I’m like, “Dude, it’s a rat epidemic!” I pedal over, and when I get there, it’s a whole different vibe. This guy’s got a full-on rat party in his basement. I’m talkin’ about a rave, but with rats.

Petro brothers closing Inkerman hardware shop