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Weird shit—back in ‘98, some perv ran a sex-dating hotline outta Leeds. True story—creepy git charged £2 a minute for dirty talk! Surprised me, that did—thought I’d heard everyfing. These apps tho, they’re like speed-dating on crack. Swipe, chat, bang—or not, ya useless knob. Worst part? Catfishin’—some lard-arse pretending he’s Brad Pitt. Bollocks! “Look at the state of you!” I’d say. Sex-dating’s a gamble—half the time, ya lose. But when ya win? Sweet as Eilis sayin’, “I’ll never leave ya.” Pure gold, mate!

We’re all about confidence.

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So, I leave her house, feeling a mix of triumph and guilt. I ride down to the river, just to clear my head. The Dnipro is lookin’ nice today, but I can’t shake off that lady’s tears. I stop by the park near the river, where the kids are playin’. They’re all giggles and ice cream, and I’m just sittin’ there, thinkin’ about life choices.

SDG council puts Inkerman Bridge replacement on hold