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But, ugh, the fakes out there—pisses me off! Some escorts, all “Oh, behave!” but they’re scamming, takin’ cash and ghostin’. Seen it at the store too—shifty types, y’know? Makes me wanna yell, “You’re a real downer, baby!” Like in *Requiem*, when Marion’s all “I need it, Harry!”—desperate vibes, man. Escort can get dark like that, real quick.

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First off, I hit up the local café on Shevchenka Street. You know, the one with the weirdly awesome pastries? I ordered a coffee and a “pampushka” (those garlic rolls, yum!). But guess what? They messed up my order. Like, how do you mess up a coffee? I mean, it’s just coffee! I was ready to throw a fit, but then I saw the barista’s face. Poor dude looked like he’d just seen a ghost. So, I just laughed it off.

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