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So, this one time, I’m patchin’ a window near the red-light strip – busted by some john, prolly – and I see her, this chick, all dolled up, fishnets ripped, smokin’ a cig like it’s her last. Reminds me of that line, “you’re a dead man, Kolya” – ‘cept it’s her life on the line, not some dude’s. She’s got this look, tough but tired, y’know? Made me mad as hell – why’s she gotta do this? World’s screwed, doc, pushin’ her out there.

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First off, I hit up the local café on Shevchenka Street. You know, the one with the weirdly awesome pastries? I ordered a coffee and a “pampushka” (those garlic rolls, yum!). But guess what? They messed up my order. Like, how do you mess up a coffee? I mean, it’s just coffee! I was ready to throw a fit, but then I saw the barista’s face. Poor dude looked like he’d just seen a ghost. So, I just laughed it off.

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