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About Odesa

Oh, and the typos – sory, fat fingers! *wiggles hands* Apps are dodgy too – fake pics everywhere! Saw a gal’s snap, turns up, she’s 80! *jaw drops, falls off chair* Nearly choked on me tea! Sex-dating’s a gamble, innit? Like, in “The Pianist”, he’s dodgin’ bombs, I’m dodgin’ catfish! *crawls under table, pops up* “I cannot risk it!” – that’s me, deletin’ Tinder again! Still, gets me ticker racin’ – better than telly! What’s yer take, eh? *leans in, trips, lands on face* Oof, classic Bean!

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Then, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, Oleg. He’s like, “Dude, you gotta see this!” I’m thinking, “What now?” Turns out, there’s a cat stuck in a tree on Kostiantynivska Street. I’m like, “Oleg, I’m busy!” But he’s persistent. So, I grab my jacket and head out.

Ukraine’s runaway ex-president gets another 15 years in absentia