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What pisses me off? Creeps who think it’s just a sex thing—nah, bro, it’s art! Skill! Like, those hands gotta *know* the spots—neck, back, oof, them thighs. Surprised me how legit it feels—had one once, nearly levitated, swear! Happiest moment? When the masseuse hit that knot—pure heaven, fam! “It’s all so perfect,” I mumbled, channellin’ Cathy’s fake-ass smile from the flick.

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First off, I’m heading down Shevchenka Street, and I swear, the potholes are getting bigger. Like, are we trying to create a new lake here? I almost lost my coffee. And don’t get me started on the traffic. It’s like everyone decided to drive at the same time. I’m stuck behind this old Lada that’s going 20 km/h. C’mon, man! We’re not in a race, but let’s at least keep it moving!

Occupied Crimea came under a massive drone attack, - Russian media