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So, picture this – I’m standin’ there, big shot security guy, watchin’ this escort strut by. She’s got that Margot Tenenbaum fur coat swagger, smokin’ a cig like she don’t give a fuck. I’m thinkin’, “Sweet Jeesus, she’s hot!” But then, some dumbass client tries grabbin’ her ass – oh hell naw! I’m like, “Respect my authoritah, you prick!” Smacked him so hard he cried like Stan after Wendy dumped his ass. Made me happy as shit, protectin’ the lady, ya know?

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So, I finally get my coffee and rush to my first client. She’s on Komsomolskaya Street, and let me tell you, this girl is a hot mess. She wants a complete makeover, but she’s got no idea what she wants. I’m talking about a total blank slate. I’m trying to suggest some styles, but she’s just staring at me like I’m speaking Martian. I mean, c’mon! It’s not rocket science!

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