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Still, surprised me how good it felt. Muscles all loose, nethers tingling—oops, TMI! You ever tried it, pal? Gets rid of stress, *omnia vincit amor*—love conquers all, or lust, haha! Funny thing—Victorians banned it, prudes. Said it was “immoral tickling”. Wankers missed out, eh? Me, I’d have it daily if I weren’t skint.

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After that, I needed a breather. So, I headed to the park by the river. You know, the one near the bridge? It’s usually peaceful, but today? Nope. There was a bunch of kids screamin’ and playin’ tag. I sat on a bench, tryin’ to chill, but they were so loud! I mean, I get it, kids are supposed to be loud, but c’mon! I just wanted a moment of silence.

Girl with eyes full of life: 12-year-old schoolgirl killed in Russian UAV attack on Dnipropetrovsk Oblast