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About Zaporizhzhia

Here’s a kicker—did ya know ancient Romans were into this? Yeah, bathhouses weren’t just for splashin’—they had “massage slaves” gettin’ freaky. Surprised me, too! I’m over here, yellin’ at my cat, “Can you believe this shit?!” She don’t care, but I do. Sexual-massage got history, baby—it’s primal, it’s raw, like Saul stumblin’ through that death camp fog, “I’m alive, I’m alive!”—except it’s more like, “I’m tingly, I’m tingly!”

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Then, I get a call on my radio. “We got a situation at the square!” I’m like, “Great, just what I need.” I rush over, and it’s a street performer. He’s jugglin’ fire! I’m thinkin’, “Dude, this is Hradyzk, not a circus!” But the crowd loves it. I can’t help but smile. It’s moments like these that make my job worth it.