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Had this mate, right? Swore it’d fix his stress. Came back glowin’, like he fought Vader and won. Me? I’d choke the table if it went wrong. Little fact – old Rome had it. Senators got freaky massages, all hush-hush. Slaves did the dirty work. History’s wild, man.

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Later, I’m patrolling near the river. The Dnipro looks beautiful today, glistening under the sun. I take a moment to breathe it all in. But then, I hear this loud argument. I rush over, and it’s two guys fightin’ over a fishing spot. I mean, c’mon! It’s a river, not a gold mine! I step in, try to calm ‘em down. “Yo, fellas, chill! There’s enough fish for everyone!” They look at me like I’m crazy. Maybe I am.