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I rememba dis one time – true story, swear on my minions! Dis chick, she send me foto, all naked-like, but it’s blurry, like Doc Sportello’s brain on dope! I’m like, “Vhat is dis? Art project?” She say, “No, just bad camera.” Lightbulb! Dat’s sex-dating for ya – half da time you don’t even know vhat u gettin’! Made me laugh so hard, I choke on my vodka.

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So, I chug my coffee and sprint outta there. I’m dodging babushkas on the sidewalk, and let me tell ya, they’re like ninjas with their bags. I finally make it to the park, and Vova’s not even there! Just my luck, right? I’m standing there, looking like a lost puppy, when I see this street performer. He’s juggling flaming torches! I’m like, “Is this a circus or what?”

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