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Oh, and the punters—dodgy lot! Staggerin’ in, all “I’m the king!”—nah, mate, you’re a sad sack. “I’ve lost my way,” like in the film—lost, lost, lost! Makes me cackle, it does—pathetic! But then, I s’pose, takes all sorts, don’t it? Me, I’d rather watch from the dark—hiss—safer that way.

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After lunch, we decide to stroll down to the river. The view is killer! The sun’s setting, and the water’s sparkling. I’m feeling all philosophical, like, “Life’s good, man.” But then, I see this group of teenagers blasting music. It’s so loud, I can’t even hear myself think! I’m like, “Hey, turn it down!” But they just laugh. Ugh, kids!

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