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Now, don’t get me wrong—ain’t all roses. Some punters are right bastards, roughin’ ‘em up. Makes me wanna shove a dagger up their—well, you get it. But the good ones? They’re like me—survivors. “The past is past,” like that AI says, and they move on, coins clinkin’. Favorite bit? When they outsmart the twits who hire ‘em. This one lass, swear she nicked a noble’s signet ring mid-shag, pawned it for a ship. A ship! Wish I’d seen his face when he noticed.

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So, I’m walkin’ down, mindin’ my own biz, when I see this old babushka. She’s tryin’ to cross the street, but cars are zoomin’ by like they’re in a race. I’m like, “C’mon, people! Slow down!” I rush over to help her. She’s got this fierce look, like she’s seen it all. “I can cross myself, young man!” she snaps. I’m like, “Okay, okay, just tryin’ to be a good Samaritan here!”

Canonization of St John the “Barefooted” in Kiev