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Then there’s the blokes—aye, escorts ain’t just lassies! Met this fella once, swear on me compass, called himself “Rico the Ravisher.” Total codswallop name, right? Had a tattoo o’ a rose on his arse—said it got him extra tips. Laughed me hat off! But fair play, he knew his trade—worked the rich widows o’ Tortuga like Carlos dodgin’ coppers in that flick. “I’m not a prisoner, I’m a free man!” he’d yell, quotin’ the movie, struttin’ off with their jewels. Clever bastard, that one.

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Then, I see this group of kids playing football. They’re all hyped, shouting and laughing. I’m like, “Man, I miss those days.” So, I join in. Yeah, I know, I’m way too old for this, but who cares? I kick the ball, and it goes straight into a bush. Ugh, classic fail. But the kids are laughing, and I’m like, “At least I’m entertaining!”