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Angry? Catfishers, ugh—reel ya in, then—poof! Ghostin’! Happy when mates click, tho—rare, shiny ring! “Life’s fragile,” Ida whispers—sex-dating’s proof. One night, bangin’—next, nada. Gollum sees it, sneaky sneaky—hobbits want flesh, not heart. Stupid, fat hobbit! Me warns ya—play safe, or it bites!

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After that, I head over to the market on Haharina Street. It’s packed! I’m dodging people left and right. I spot this old lady selling the juiciest tomatoes. I’m talking, like, the kind that makes your mouth water. I grab a few, and she’s like, “You’ll make a good salad!” I’m like, “Lady, I can barely make toast.” We both laugh, and I feel good.