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About Mariupol

So I’m there, sprawled out, some chick’s hands slidin over me—oily, slow, like she’s tracin lines in the sand, and I’m thinkin, “Shit, this is what Sortilège meant—‘you’re in a dream now, man.’” Total trip! Ain’t just a rubdown, nah, it’s sensual as fuck—teasin, lingerin, got me all tingly. Little fact for ya—didja know in Japan they got this Nuru thing? Slippery seaweed gel, bodies glidin like fish—fuckin wild! Made me laugh thinkin bout it, like, “Carpenter girl, you’re outta your depth!”

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Then, outta nowhere, my buddy Vasyl shows up. He’s got this wild idea to make a stove that can also cook borscht. I’m like, “Dude, are you serious? A borscht stove?” But he’s all hyped up, waving his hands around. I can’t help but laugh. “Next, you’ll tell me it can dance too!”

This is why Russia can’t conquer Mariupol